Archive for category Background
I am a firm believer that you shouldn’t use your hand to administer corporal punishment. The hands are used to caress, cuddle and hug not to inflict pain (even though that pain is inflicted in the spirit of deep paternal love and concern).
To that end, there are 2 implements that I use in my home when necessary.
The wooden spoon is the first implement all of my boys were introduced to, at the time they each received their first smacked bottom. The beauty of it is that it stings mightily, but the discomfort dissipates very very quickly, which is always the aim. A smacked bottom is a response to a specific act of misbehaviour and does not need to be drawn out. In later posts I will discuss ways to reduce the post smack soreness quicker, but using an appropriate implement is a good first step.
I currently use the wooden spoon with Marcus and Jamie, the two youngest and will continue to do so until about the age of 10 when they will follow their brothers and move on to the implement below.
It is important to say straight away, that bath brushes come in many shapes and designs. The type I am talking about is illustrated to the right. It has a flat back, with no ridges or bumps or holes. This is very important.
In many ways, it is similar to the wooden spoon, in that has an area that is used for smacking at the end of a handle. The difference is the larger surface area and slightly heavier build of the whole implement. Theis provides a increase in pain, although still far short of causing any kind of bruising or injury if used correctly. It may sound cruel to put it that way, but it is a fact that as children grow their pain tolerance increases. A happy and active child will have all kinds of bumps and cuts and grazed knees that come from normal play and exploration, and that has an effect. And, well, a smacked bottom needs to hurt if it is to be the teaching tool we seek it to be. The bath brush does that safely, perfectly able to bring suitably chastise 15yo Michael on the rare occasions that is necessary while still being not to much for 11yo Daniel.
A note on both of these implements. They WILL leave a very red and sore looking bottom behind after a smacking. It is easy to be put off by this and fear you have gone too far. In truth, it is just a function of the wide surface area of both, and it will dissipate in a few hours and the intense discomfort within an hour at most (and less if you use the tips I will explain in later posts). Be strong, and continue until the right point is reached, another concept I will elaborate on later.
Until next time, take care.
As this is the first post on this blog, I figure I should run through my philosophy on smacking, and how it is applied in my home.
I believe that smacking (spanking, corporal punishment or whatever term you prefer) is an important and effective tool in any parents arsenal when dealing with misbehaviour. I also believe that it is not something that need be kept for only the most serious behaviour. As a result, smacked bottoms are a fairly common occurrence in our home although they are by no means the exclusive method of discipline.
I would like to think the results the speak for themselves. The boys are all happy, polite and high achievers who have a healthy respect for rules and responsibilities but who still know how to have fun. Allow me to introduce them:
Marcus, Age 4
Marcus is the baby of the family, having only recently turned 4. A boisterous and active young boy, he has a very special knack of cheering everyone else around up. That same get up and go can sometimes lead him into trouble though, especially not doing as he is told and so Marcus is no stranger to a sore bottom. Like his older brothers, he responds well and is none the worse for wear after the tears have dried. Marcus earns a smacked bottom on average every 10 days.
Jamie, Age 7
Jamie is in many ways a 3 years older version of Marcus. All action and energy, but a lover of a cuddles too. Like Marcus, he gets his bottom smacked in the 10 day range but is capable of going much longer getting it twice in a day!
Daniel, Age 11
Danny is the football mad athlete of the family. A fun loving joker, his pants come down every 3 or weeks for a smack.
Michael, Age 15
Michael is an intelligent, mature young man who does very well at school and generally doesn’t need me on his case much at all. That said, I am still there to provide a guiding hand, which to his bottom is now measured in months between incidents.
Those are my guys in brief. Over the next while as things come up you’ll get to know them even better.